Being a caregiver is much like having a child—attitudes and behaviors arise that you must overlook. You learn to swallow your pride, while sometimes anger and even dread become a daily mindset that is hard to shake. You can meditate, pray or call your psychic for advice and comfort, but you know that the comfort is only temporary. Soon, it’s back to the daily grind of cooking, cleaning and caring for your loved one.
For a long while, a dear friend of mine was caring for her ill son. She was determined to find the cure that would heal him. She was able to keep him alive a lot longer than expected, but he passed away after three years. This woman is amazing. She had a job, but when she wasn’t at work, she was spending time with her son, doing Internet research, talking to doctors and maintaining her household. When her son passed, she was suddenly left without the job of caring for him. Losing a child is a horrible experience, no matter how old they are. But she was able to find productive things to do to fill her time while still keeping her son’s memory alive.
A Wife’s Remission
A caller of mine is a beautiful woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer and she needed to have a full mastectomy. Four years later, she’s cancer free and she is back to working and looking great. Her husband took care of her while she was going through this hard time in her life. He did a good job, but when the healing was done and she didn’t need care anymore, he wanted out of the marriage. This broke his wife’s heart, but with lots of conversation and guidance from me, she is getting closer to finding her happy zone. As for her husband, I will never know what his karma holds.
Although both my stories had very different outcomes, the lesson is indeed the same: Being a caregiver is a job, even if you are caring for a loved one. And the job has an expiration date, whether it’s because someone passes away or it’s because they make a full recovery. But no matter the outcome, the caregiver has to get used to a new life once the care they provide is no longer needed. And the new life they take on is of their own creation.
If you are a caregiver, what will you do once the need for care ends? Or if you’re no longer a caregiver, how are you filling up your time? If you’re pondering a new life, I can help you explore your options and help you mentally and emotionally recover from what was probably one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have.