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Is It Love?

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When it comes to love, we all have a lot of questions. We want to know who we are supposed to be with for the rest of our lives and how to keep from getting our hearts broken. We want to make sure we are loving the right person and that we are worthy of that love. When we are in a relationship, there comes a time when we wonder if our partner really loves us. For women, we might wonder why our partner doesn’t tell us that he loves us.

Every relationship has its own timeline for saying those three important words. Some people jump right into love, while others take time to grow comfortable and settle into love. There’s no right or wrong way to tell someone that you love them, but there are things to consider when thinking about your partner and love.

Here are a few factors that can influence when you say “I love you” in a relationship.

  1. How long you’ve been in a relationship. This is a major influencing factor in when you should know if you are falling in love with your partner or not. If you have been dating for less than three months, saying “I love you” can be a knee-jerk reaction to the excitement of a new love affair. Take your time to settle into this new person and this relationship before you blurt out these three important words.
  2. womanfrustrated1Between three and six months, reassess your relationship. Are you both still enjoying one another’s company? Do you still go out of your way to hang out with one another and plan activities? Are you meeting each other’s friends and even family? If you are, you are heading in the right direction for that “I love you” moment
  3. If you’re around six months into a relationship and neither of you are saying “I love you” yet, ask yourself why. One or both of you might have relationship boundaries that you’ve talked about with one another, which is good. You should both be comfortable with where you are at in your relationship and where you both see this heading.


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Now, here are some red flags to watch out for around the six to nine-month mark. If you and your partner still seem to be dating, but only casually, you might want to re-examine your commitment to them. If your partner struggles to make time for you, isn’t dependable, and routinely bails on your plans, this relationship will likely not work out. If they aren’t taking it seriously after this long, there’s little hope that they will start taking it seriously. This isn’t the basis of true love.

Some partners may feel affection for us, but they aren’t in love or falling in love. However, they might be comfortable, which is why they don’t want to let you go. This situation isn’t fair for either party, but can drag on for months or even years. If you haven’t said “I love you” between nine months and a year, this relationship likely isn’t succeeding.

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Your life partner should love you and express that love through actions and words. If you are in a relationship where that isn’t happening, then you need to leave. Forcing a relationship or waiting for love to develop is tempting, but it is harmful and often useless. If your partner isn’t giving you the love you need and deserve, find one who will.

In the end, saying “I love you” is an essential part of a relationship. We all deserve to love and to be loved in return. If you are in a relationship and your partner isn’t expressing this love, consider why you are still in that relationship.

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