It’s not impossible to move on after a relationship goes sour. But it is kind of hard. Two of the biggest stumbling blocks for women after a painful break-up are: 1. not really wanting to move on and 2. not knowing how to move on. If you’ve just been dumped (or you dumped him), it’s helpful to think about a plan that can get you moving in the right direction – away from him. That will help you get over him once and for all.
If you’re not sure you should break up with them. There are a few signs to look out for:
If there is physical, mental or emotional abuse, drug abuse, or manipulative and controlling behavior, my hope is that you would break things off—sooner, rather than later. It would be terrible if things escalated because you hoped your partner would just get better.
Distance and Lack of Communication
If you feel like they are distancing themselves from you, and aren’t communicating with you, you know the love between you has changed. You know they don’t feel connected to you anymore. They may say they have feelings for you, but if their actions don’t match their words, you know it’s really over.
If thinking about or dealing with your partner leaves you feeling tired, drained or depressed, this means that your soul is not peaceful in your romantic relationship. And if your soul is not peaceful, you are not peaceful. Your partner should be a source of joy in your life—not a source of distress.
Most of us can just sense when something isn’t right. That sense is called intuition and when your intuition speaks up, you need to listen. It’s time for a breakup. But what do you do once you’ve broken up with them? Here are my suggestions:
Remove the Negativity
The best way to get rid of the negative energy of a failed romantic relationship is to have no contact with your ex. I know that can be hard if you have children or pets together. In that case, limit you contact to discussions about what you still share. But for those people who have no real ties to an ex, cutting off all communication is best after a breakup. You can’t start your post-breakup healing process if your ex continues to play a role in your life. Remember the old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.” You can also burn sage in each room or sprinkle natural sea salt in the corners to keep negativity from entering your space. These are cleansing rituals.
Take the Time to Heal
The times it takes to heal depends on the individual. It also depends on how much work you do on yourself and how quickly you tend to recover and move forward from setbacks. Remember, it takes guts to cut out drama, but you need to put your foot down and say, “I’ve had enough!” Then you need to do the work required to move forward. The harder you work, the quicker you’ll heal.
Your Self Relationship
During your healing process, you need to stay connected to yourself. In fact, the period right after a breakup is the best time to work on your relationship with yourself. You’ve invested so much time and energy in someone who didn’t deserve it, but now you can invest time and energy into someone who does—you! It’s time to reconnect with yourself.
Prayer or Meditation
In order to reconnect with yourself and heal yourself after a breakup, I suggest taking up prayer or meditation. Prayer is asking questions, while meditation is listening for the answers. Not only do prayer and meditation help relax they body, they also create balance in your busy life and help you gain a deeper understanding of who you are. Making time to pray or meditate is easier than you think. If you can’t take time out during you busy day, I suggest praying or meditating right before you go to bed. Either activity is a great way to end your day and prepare yourself for the next day. There is no right or wrong way to pray or meditate—just do whatever feels right to you.
Read and Connect
Self-help and spirituality-themed books are great reads for people trying to reconnect with themselves or get over a breakup. If you have some bad relationship habits or if you attract the wrong kind of people, being single is the perfect time to work on eliminating these behaviors. If you’re a spiritual person, find a local group to join. There, you’ll meet like-minded people who can help you develop a better relationship with yourself. If you believe in a higher power, spiritual groups can help you stay connected.
Reconnect to yourself and love who you are.