If someone created a dictionary to decode male language, I guarantee it would be a bestseller. It’s kind of funny to think about how many times a friend has asked me “What does his text mean?” “What is he thinking?” or “Why is he taking so long to call me back?” We worry endlessly, creating these elaborate, ridiculous scenarios of why he isn’t calling and overanalyzing to the point of becoming delusional. It’s ironic that we make them out to be these complex creatures, when in reality, men are relatively straightforward and not that complicated. Just ask them!
A lot of communication missteps come from misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Could you be misinterpreting your guy’s words and actions? Let’s find out! Here are 11 common misinterpretations about men. Are you misinterpreting him?
1. He Doesn’t Value Me Because He’s Forgetful
Research suggests that most men process information differently from women. This could be why he remembers every line from the Godfather trilogy, yet has a hard time remembering your shoe size. But just because he doesn’t remember your shoe size or your favorite color or the name of your first best friend, it doesn’t mean you aren’t important to him.
2. He’s Silent Because He Doesn’t Care
3. He’s too Hot to Date Me
Women often think attractive men, men “out of their league,” aren’t interested in them. The opposite seems to be true. Attractive men often underestimate themselves and think most women aren’t attracted to them. It’s the men who have average looks who think more women are attracted to them then they actually are.
4. He Understands My Subtle Hints
Men often take what women say and add their own spin to it. So if a woman says she just wants to be friends, a man will add “with benefits” at the end of her statement. When a woman smiles at a man, he thinks she’s thinking what he’s thinking: sex. In other words, guys don’t always take hints, so it’s just better to be straightforward.
5. He Pays for Dates Because He Wants Sex
Whether he springs for McDonald’s or steak, he’s expecting to get lucky at the end of the night, right? Wrong. Don’t assume a meal equals sex for all men. Some men like to take women out and pay for their meals because they’re chivalrous and want to show their appreciation for their company—nothing more.
6. He Hears What He Wants to
Women think men have selective hearing—they hear what they want to and whatever is convenient for them. Men do have selective hearing, but not because they don’t respect women or their opinions. Men prefer to make their own decisions, so when a woman is telling them what to do, they can choose not to do it. This is why suggesting something is always better than demanding or instructing. Any idea seems better if it’s your own idea, right?
7. He’s Ignoring Me
Women often take issue with a man’s body language. If he isn’t facing them and looking into their eyes, he must not be actively engaged, right? Well that’s not necessarily true. Taking a face-to-face stance is confrontational, but sitting side-by-side is a better position for romantic relationships.
8. He Won’t Do it Unless I Nag Him
He heard you the first time, but just because he heard you doesn’t mean he’s going to jump into doing whatever you want right away. He’ll get around to doing it eventually.
9. He Likes Women Who are in Demand
Men like woman who like to play hard-to-get, right? They’re only interested in women who are popular, in demand and busy. If she avoids their calls, doesn’t text back and if she flirts with other men in public, she’s really appealing, right? The truth is that most men prefer a woman who isn’t trying to avoid them. They are attracted to women who spend time with them and who don’t try to catch the eye of other men when they are together.
10. He Doesn’t Like Successful Women
Men are very turned on by interesting women with careers, busy lifestyles and independence. A confident man won’t be intimidated by a successful woman, because he’s probably successful too. A woman can be aggressive at work, but vulnerable when it comes to love. Just because she runs an office, it doesn’t mean she can’t make the man in her life feel useful.
11. He Says He Loves You Just to Get Sex
Men have a bad habit of falling for things that sexually attract them. Studies have shown that men fall in love much quicker than women, but it is not real love. It’s only the oxytocin firing in his brain like the Fourth of July. Don’t misinterpret a guy’s early infatuation as being a sign he’s your soulmate, as guys can sometimes even fool themselves into thinking sexual energy is love. Yes, there are jerks who play women for sex, but don’t assume every guy is like that.