HE IS NARCISSISTIC
Is he obsessed with himself? Does every sentence that comes out of his mouth start with ‘I’? This is totally one of the#signs that your boyfriend is a jerk, girls! He should care about what is going on with you, not just with him. He should also care about the world around him, not just himself. If the#world revolves around your boyfriend, in his mind, it might be because he’s a jerk!
The problem lies in her lack of self-love. She’s become this needy, dependent drip of a girl who barely resembles the girl her friends and family loved and knew pre-Jerk. She resists all forms of guidance. She’s worn down and defensive. She lashes out at those who want to help her and proclaims, “I know, he’s such a jerk, but I love him.” She also has no idea what real love is.
“If you carry old burdens and old vicious cycles, you may attract relationships you need to learn and grow from instead of a long-term love.”
The solution is unconditional love. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they will accept a helping hand. As difficult as it may be to watch, that’s when she’ll really need you most—when she realizes she’s just been blinded by false love and driven by her insecurities. Let her feel the anger because it will inspire her to heal. Remind her that no one deserves poor treatment.
Why Women Love Jerks
We’ve all heard it said before and maybe we are the ones saying it: “He’s such a jerk, but I love him.” It’s unfortunately an all-too-common story—the kind of story that makes you want to scream, “Snap out of it!” Let’s break down this tale of woe into manageable chapters and identify the characters:
He’s manipulative, deceitful and probably a player. His talent is identifying a person’s weaknesses and exploiting them for his benefit. Though adept at isolating his prey, he doesn’t really warrant a chapter—a warning label would be more appropriate.
She’s sad, and when The Jerk rejects her or puts her down, she feels lost and alone in a wilderness of emotion. She justifies his poor behavior because “no one understands him” the way she does. She tells herself that he’s just trying to make her a better person. She protects and defends him from all the Doubting Thomases in her life. When he’s being a jerk, she’ll call you to vent. Eventually though, her insecurities and feelings of emptiness drive her back to him. She always goes back—every time. But she’ll never call you back once the skirmish is over. She’s too busy relinquishing her pride in the name of love.
Don’t give up your pride for love.
The Sounding Boards
Now all of the friends, family and everyone she typically complains to start to hate him, even if they’ve never met him. It’s obvious to them that this is an unhealthy and obsessive union. They’re also worried about, disappointed in and somewhat angry with her for ignoring their advice and fatefully repeating the same mistakes.
She brings out the maternal instincts in those who want to embrace her and console her—that is, at first. After a few episodes, the drama gets old and they just want to throw a bucket of cold water over her head. She’s infuriating, yet they tread lightly because they don’t want to hurt her further. They want to get her out of this vicious and ridiculous cycle.