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How to Cope with Grief and Loss

Dealing with grief and loss is something most people have to do sometime in their lives. Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something very dear to us. Losses that may lead to grief include the death or separation of a loved one, loss of a job, death or loss of a beloved pet, or any number of other changes in life such as divorce, becoming an “empty nester,” or retirement. Anyone can experience grief and loss, but each person is unique in how he or she copes with these feelings.

images (42)It’s Complicated

Loss and grief are complicated. I find that even though my callers and I are talking about a specific incident, this is not their first experience with loss and grief. In fact, if we travel back far enough, we discover a major loss or abandonment occurring early in life. Over time, if each loss is not dealt with, they build, one on top of the other, into a seemingly insurmountable mountain of grief. I usually get the call when the loss and grief are too much to handle, bringing the caller to their knees. They want to know why they’re experiencing this. Usually, their self-esteem is quite low.

A Way Through

It’s not easy to fix everything in one session and that’s because it’s not just about one traumatic event. It’s about every traumatic event! But what I can offer is a way through—a light at the end of the tunnel. The solution is to allow love in. It may be hard to do, but it leads to healing the heart and creating the change (closure or moving forward) you want so badly.

Look at loss and grief as a transition. As a psychic, it’s my job to guide you through it. Here is what I recommend you and I try together:

images (43)Forgive Them: Make a list of everyone who has done you wrong—whether they’ve hurt you or abandoned you. Now write a letter to each of them, explaining how they made you feel. You can choose to give them the letter or burn it.

Forgive Yourself: Stop blaming yourself for them leaving you. If you were abandoned by a parent, know that you were a child and did nothing. If you were left by a lover, know that they left because of their own issues.

Figure Out What Matters Most: Take a moment and ask yourself what really matters to you.

Nurture Yourself: Be kind to yourself and do nurturing, healing things. If you need ideas, call me.

Find Good People: Surround yourself with people who believe in you and want to help you heal.

152523-159729Acknowledge the Baby Steps: You won’t always take huge strides toward improvement every day. Acknowledge and respect the baby steps. They help you heal, too.

Remember that life is a dance. You get to choose who you want to dance with. Don’t wait around for people to choose you. Take an active role in picking who you share time with. Request nothing other than a sacred relationship. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. And most importantly, remember to have fun!

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