We’ve all had those relationships- they start with a good morning text, a midmorning call, a lunch break check in, and countless other innocuous messages, calls, or reminders throughout the day. At first, this much attention seems sweet. We all like to be appreciated and thought of throughout the day, right?
Unfortunately, this level of attention can also be associated with a narcissistic, power-hungry, controlling partner. Rather than coming from a place of genuine care, these kinds of relationships are built on a power imbalance and a need for one partner to feel like they possess the other. This can be subtle, and you might not even notice it’s happening until the situation gets bad enough.
These kinds of relationships can start out well- you feel like you’ve found a partner that you connect with, that you can talk to, and who actually seems to want to engage with you and your life. Sometimes this is the case, and they really are looking to invest in their new relationship. Unfortunately, some relationships like this are symbolic of deeper issues.
There are a few things you can keep your eye out for if it seems like you are in a relationship like this. One red flag is if your partner blames others for their problems consistently, including you. Nothing is ever their fault, and they might begin to isolate you from your friends, family, and support network in an effort to make you entirely dependent on them.
If you realize you are in a relationship like this, the best thing to do is to break it off immediately. Narcissistic and controlling partners aren’t what is best for you, ever. Cutting off all contact with these people is essential for finding your balance in life and regaining your sense of self. If they try to get you back under their control again, resist it. You deserve a partner who sees you and loves you for exactly who you are, always.
Surround yourself with supportive family, friends, and things that make you happy in the wake of a bad relationship or breakup. You can begin to see how that relationship’s negativity affected you and how you can avoid similar situations in the future.
We all have fallen into relationships that weren’t good for us. We’ve all gotten caught up in the blame game, fallen in love with a narcissist, or dealt with controlling and abusive partners because it felt better than dealing with our lives as single, flawed people. However, the discoveries you will make about yourself as you learn and grow from the relationships you have in your life will lead you to much better places than you could ever imagine.