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Predicting the Unpredictable: Character Traits We Like, and Some We Don’t

    We all have things we like and dislike in our partners, regardless of their gender. We want someone who is smart and funny, not critical and lazy. We want upbeat and warm, not cold and calculating. Unfortunately, we are all flawed as humans and can’t expect perfection from our partner. What we can look for in our romantic relationships are qualities that we desire and avoiding those we don’t.

For some men, the perceived unpredictable nature of women has them running for the hills and intrigued at the same time. Men desire women they can’t quite pin down, but at the same time might feel confused or intimidated by the fact that they aren’t able to predict the emotions, actions, or behaviors of the women in their life.

We want partners who are reliable and consistent, and yet reliability and consistency aren’t always what fans the flame of romantic interest.

Women are powerful, mature, sexual beings, and are increasingly choosing to live independent, vibrant lives with or without men accompanying them. Women are able to choose what they want and need, when they want and need it. This ownership of women’s own selves and bodies can make them behave in ways that seem unpredictable to men; however, these behaviors have a rational basis. She behaves the way she does because that’s what she wants to do!

Men find it difficult to understand women, and there certainly are differences between the two sexes. However, by listening and observing, men might find a bit more insight into the women in their life than they previously expected.

For men, dealing with the randomness of women can seem overwhelming at times. Ask yourself why you are reacting the way you are- do you feel unwanted? Desired and then discarded? Does she have a life outside of yours that you want to be part of?

Guys, the next time you are in the presence of a woman you think is unpredictable, do a little check of yourself. Notice your reaction- do you feel it in your gut? Do you feel sadness, jealousy, anger, or disappointment?

Observe and sit with these feelings. Don’t try to explain them away; rather, embrace those feelings and stay with them as they move through you. As you gain awareness of your feelings and reactions, consider the woman’s character, behavior, or actions. Can you understand where she is coming from? Do you feel different?

Often it isn’t another person’s character that bothers us, but our reaction to them. We can’t change other people, but we can change how we see and react to them.

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