Sexual Affair VS. Emotional Affair
When it comes to cheating, many would not call something cheating until sex is involved. While cheaters are usually involved in a sexual relationship, most affairs or cheating start with the emotional aspect of cheating: an emotional attachment to someone other than a spouse that starts as something “innocent”. However, there is nothing innocent about the deception or secrecy involved in concealing texts or emails from your spouse or partner. Some people who step out on their partners don’t do it for the sex; they do it for the emotion.
A Fine Line
There’s a fine line between friendship and an emotional affair. Emotional affairs are secret friendships and this kind of relationship includes a lot of moments a person would never want their partner to find out about. If you feel like your partner is pushing you out of their life, you may think they are having an emotional affair. Conversely, you may feel entitled to have an emotional affair. But if you feel like your partner could be stepping out on you and committing emotional infidelity, here are 11 signs to look for:
1. They Get Excited When They Talk About Them
You know what infatuation feels and sounds like. When your partner talks about the other person, are they elated? Are they the new and interesting thing in their life? Do they mention them often? This behavior may be one of the initial red flags of an emotional affair. You should take an honest look at your relationship, identify the current problems, and take action to improve your intimacy and communication.
4. They Become Secretive
Your partner could be having an emotional affair is they suddenly become secretive. They may hide their phone, change their pass code, and delete texts, emails and voice mails from this person. They may even start to mention them less so you think they’ve lost interest in the person.
5. There Are No More Good Talks
People tend to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with those they are closest to. It could be friends, family or a lover. Did you and your partner once have intimate conversations? When did they end? Was it when they started mentioning this other person? Having an emotional affair means that a person has made a deep, emotional connection with someone else. It’s the deep, emotional connection they used to have with you.
6. You Spend Many Nights Alone
You may have spent many nights alone when you were single, but that shouldn’t be the case when you are in a relationship. If you start to find yourself in that position again because your partner is out with the same friend night after night, they’re probably living a second, secret life.
7. They’re Looking Better Than Usual
People change all the time, and if you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are both you and your partner have changed hairstyles, clothing styles, gained or lost weight, etc. But what about a partner who suddenly changes out of the blue? Should you be suspicious that they are having an emotional affair? If there is not good reason for their change or if they deny even changing, you should be suspicious.
8. You Feel Closed Off (Literally and Emotionally)
If your partner has been emotionally withdrawn from you for a while, soon they will become physically withdrawn too. You’ll start to see the physical signs. There could be more closed doors between you (office, bedroom, garage) than ever before. They may want to spend more time alone. If they can’t be with that other person, they would just rather be by themselves.
9. You No Longer Have Long-Tern Couple Goals
Your partner may be having an emotional affair if they no longer care about the long-term goals you once shared. Suddenly, they are no longer interested in getting married or buying a house. They’d rather just focus on the day-to-day activities of being in a relationship with you. Someone else could be getting in the way of your future.
10. You Become the Bringer of Bad Moods
Another sign of an emotional affair is that your partner always seems to be in a bad mood in your presence. In fact, you are the one who they are always irritated with. They’re irritated because you aren’t the person they’re having the emotional affair with.
11. They Constantly Criticize You
Being in love means seeing your partner through rose-colored glasses. That’s not a bad thing. But if your partner is having an emotional affair, they may suddenly discover things they don’t like or no longer accept about you. Have you become the target of constant criticism? They could just be falling out of love with you, but if there is someone else in the picture, this criticism could be the result of an emotional affair.