Looking for ways to bring the spark back to your relationship? Over time we can all settle into our relationships and forget what made them special to us in the first place. We take care of each other but can get complacent in how we treat our special someone. We should always remember to be faithful, communicate, and please each other in bed, but sometimes life requires a bit more, too.
Here are seven ways to make love last, even when your relationship seems like a big challenge:
- Praise your partner before criticizing. Humans remember more negative situations, words, or feelings than we do positive ones, so we need more positive affirmations to make up for life’s negativity. When it comes to your partner, make sure you are praising them for the things they are doing right rather than nagging them about the stuff they get wrong. We all make mistakes, but they don’t always need to be pointed out. Be detailed in your praise and easy in your criticism.
- Be passionate. When discussing things you care about, be sure that you aren’t shutting down. This can be taken by your partner as not caring or being aloof. Work on having clear, civil conversations with your partner that don’t dissolve into knockdown, drag out fights. You can argue and be passionate without harming one another. Listen and learn with your partner as you communicate.
- Don’t avoid difficult conversations. We don’t want our partner to think negatively about us, but not having these challenging conversations can be detrimental to the overall health of your relationship. Don’t wait for the pot to boil over; it’s best to get things out in the open rather than losing your temper later on.
- Know yourself. So much of our relationship is spent trying to smooth out the rough edges that we forget that our differences are what makes our relationship special. Work on making yourself someone worth being in a relationship with; grow your own emotional, mental, and spiritual lives so that you can be truly yourself, with another person.
- Don’t let the negatives get you down. So often we get caught up in the negative parts of our relationships that we forget the good things that keep us together. When problems arise in relationships, we might try to fix them right away. While some problems are easy to solve, others require acceptance. You should love your partner for who and what they are, good and bad.
- Listen to your gut. Your intuition will tell you when something is up with your partner, if things are wrong, or if you should be worried about something. We tend to rely on others to tell us when things are wrong, but in a relationship you are the expert. You need to determine what you can do to make your partner happy, what to let go of, and what problems to pursue.
- Be the example. We don’t always take on the role of the bigger person easily. However, this can be the best way to smooth over the rough edges of a relationship. Be the first to let go of resentments, anger, or conflicts that don’t matter; remember that you love this person above all, and you want what is best for them. You alone are responsible for your happiness, and your partner isn’t supposed to be the solution to all your life’s problems.
Relationships take a lot of work, and they don’t always work out. There are lessons to be learned from every person we come in contact with throughout our lives, romantically or otherwise. Relationships are all around us, and its up to us how much effort we want to put into them.