According to the book Real Love,unconditional love is, in essence, true love — so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves a definition of its own. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.
Admit to Being Conditional
Oso shared the following about love: “How can love impose ideals on anyone? Love simply accepts you as you are; there is no need to be somebody else. I call a place a holy one where love is unconditional, shared without asking anything in return—not even in a subtle way.” If we not only read this quote but also reflect on it, we can perhaps find the ways in which we have or currently imposed ideals on our lover, our family members, or our friends. This takes some effort! For who among us wants to admit they don’t practice unconditional love?
Societal conditioning, mass media and projected ideals have been cast upon us all at some point in our lives. Commercials tell us that the larger the price tag, the larger the love. They send us messages, both directly and subliminally, that the number of gifts given is akin to the amount of love one feels for the other.
When we buy into this idea (pun intended!) we give over our power and even our minds to some idea outside of us. In doing so we miss out on so many wonderful moments of unconditional love. So many opportunities to “be” love. In the Christian bible (1 Corinthians 13:4 – 5) is the following passage, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
I believe that the writer is inferring that when you are “being love” you see no wrong. Unconditional love never fails. How can it? It is true love! We humans can use the word love to hold onto something or someone—sometimes even well past the time when it is appropriate to move on to our next learning adventure, but that’s not true, unconditional love. Therefore I postulate that unconditional love, is not a feeling. Instead, it is an action and a state of being. Will you join me in testing this hypothesis?
What Would Unconditional Love Do?
Here is how to begin. Whenever you feel offended or afraid, ask yourself this question: What would unconditional LOVE do? I believe (and have seen proof in my own life) that you will find yourself making different decisions, having different reactions and taking different action. In doing so, you will find more unconditional love not outside of you, but emanating from you. With that comes a greater sense of peace, tolerance and an ability to overcome any obstacles or obstructions in your life.
Choose Unconditional LOVE.