There are tons of ways to start anew whether we choose to change our lives through something we implement or we’re forced to hit reset due to circumstances beyond our control. However, starting over manifests in your life, the common denominator is that making over your life and going back to zero is hard and has too much of emotional work.
In order to be successful, you should be aware of the five following barriers to starting over. Your path may be a tough one but it can be easier by avoiding these all-too-common pitfalls.
Talking yourself out of starting over is the biggest barrier you’ll face. It’s easy to imagine all the negative possibilities and outcomes, making the case for keeping the status quo. But doubting yourself will only keep you where you currently are. If you don’t want to be in that place, or can’t be, you’ll have to foster strength and courage to move forward.
2. Lack of Action
It’s easy to say that you want to make over your life and start fresh. But actually doing it requires you to make a plan and go for it. Immobility only keeps you stuck in whatever kind of rut you’ve found yourself in—perhaps even getting deeper into it as time creeps on. Even if it seems scary or risky, in your core you know that changing is the right move. Begin by writing down what the very first step would be and that may propel you to think of the next move, and then the next. Soon, you’ll be more confident and starting over could become a reality.
Once you’ve made the leap to start over, you might subconsciously try to foil your new path. This self-sabotaging behavior can come in many forms and may crop up in any number of classical situations: Maybe you’re deciding to break things off with your toxic ex for good, but then you find yourself drinking too much and texting him or her late at night. Perhaps you’re trying to kick off a healthy lifestyle but you procrastinate going to bed at night so you end up being too sleepy to hit the gym in the morning. Maybe you’re trying to start fresh with a friend but you keep giving into feelings of resentment and gossiping behind her back. Whatever they are for you, these behaviors stand in the way of having the life you want.
4. Physical Obstacles
Starting over could be the result of a real, visceral experience like a divorce or a death, or it could be more of a mental state if you’re choosing to change destructive thought patterns. Either way, holding on to physical reminders of the past, especially those that invoke shame or enable you to go back to your old ways, will keep you from actually moving forward.
5. No Accountability
In order to be successful, you have to celebrate your successes and have someone you trust to lean on as you embark on this journey. Without accountability and a reward system, it’s too easy to feel discouragement, depression, and ultimately fail. To help with this, implement a way to measure your forward progress so that you can have some tangible evidence of how you’re doing. This way, you’ll be able to easily incentivize yourself at given intervals. Seeing the results will push you to keep going with your new life.