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Why Breaking Up Is Hard On Men

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Breaking up is a difficult time for all of us. We’ve lost a trusted partner and friend, and we might not know if they are going to be in our lives any more. We have broken love and mistrust, hurt and emotional pain that results from a breakup. Recent studies have shown that men actually take breakups harder than women, even though it doesn’t always seem that way. Of course, men and women handle breakups differently. Not all men and women will handle a breakup the same way; some of us know the relationship is meant to be over, while others of us might have been blindsided by this information and take off guard.

When a couple breaks up, men tend to initiate change in their life, while some women will try to stick to their usual routine and let time heal the wounds from that relationship’s end. Men want to be busy and often aren’t in touch with family or friends for a little while after a breakup. Women gravitate towards friends after the end of a relationship and dive into their comfortable social circle for support.

This emotional support network is why women often handle breakups in a healthier way than men do. Men have been socially trained to bottle up their emotions in order to seem tougher; however, this is a dangerous game to play for mental health and other reasons. By not letting go of this emotion, men end up hurting more.

download (1)Women are emotionally supported by the people around them, including close friends and family. This allows us to share the emotional burden of a breakup with a group of people, rather than just handling it all ourselves. Men often rely on their partner for emotional support, and when that connection is no longer there they have no place to turn to with their emotional needs.

A man’s quality of life can drop after a breakup. He might not have noticed how much his partner took care of him by making appointments, cooking healthy food, expanding his social circle, and more. Men often jump into dangerous habits or experiences after a breakup in order to deal with their negative emotions.

cheatingMen often mask their emotions and pretend that they are ok, even when they aren’t. after a breakup a guy might fall into drinking or drugs to keep himself from feeling or thinking about his former partner. Men fail to see that time is needed to go through the grieving process; they just want to feel better now.

Studies have also shown that men are more likely to overestimate their partner’s affection. A man sees a girl who he thinks can’t live without him; when she leaves him, he’s left reeling. Men fall in love easier than women, and thus end up with more broken hearts when the relationship is over. Men really don’t like rejection, so being in a committed relationship works very well for most. They are able to have the benefits of a relationship without feeing like they need to start over with another person, like you often have to do when casually dating.

Additionally, women who cheat in relationships are often looking to get out of that relationship and tend to be more emotionally connected to the person they are having an affair with, whereas men don’t justify their actions in quite the same way. Guys have more to lose by cheating because they need the emotional support their partner provides.

In the end of things, women seem to recover from breakups faster and better than men do. Of course, every relationship and every person is different, so this isn’t the case for everyone.

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