Ladies, let’s talk about relationships. We love them and we hate them, but we can’t seem to live without them. Unfortunately, our desire to be connected to others sometimes leads us to accepting relationships that aren’t healthy for us to be in.
There are a number of reasons why we stay in relationships that aren’t good for us. We don’t want to be alone, we don’t want to start from scratch dating someone new, and we are afraid of change. We’ve normalized how our partner treats us and its become what we expect of any boyfriend. We assume that because we love our partner, we can change them for the better.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but there are some situations that are unhealthy no matter how you look at them. Your partner shouldn’t be abusive or manipulative, causing you to feel afraid or unsafe in your home. There should be equality and mutual respect in your relationship that allows you both to grow and move together through life as a team.
Oftentimes we know in our gut that a relationship isn’t right, and yet we hesitate to leave. We want to stick it out in hopes that it will get better, rather than admitting failure. We think that we can change our partner through the force of our love, and yet this is rarely something that occurs.
The attention that once marked your partner as special may have turned into the obsessive need to control you; this can become claustrophobic at best, and violent at worst. Still, with all this bad behavior and red flags waving in our faces, we stick it out. We would rather be in a relationship that meets our expectations than to be alone.
In a relationship, change is brought about because you recognize the need to change. Couples can make the commitment to change together in order to strengthen their partnership, but rarely can one person sway the other into changing if that’s not what they’re interested in doing.
Remember that the fault doesn’t lie with you- you are seeking to be happy, healthy and loved. Striving for these things might mean leaving the relationship you are currently in. your relationship wasn’t always unhealthy, but many become so over time because of jealousy, mistrust, insecurity, and fear.
If you are lingering in a bad relationship, do what you can to get out of it. Contact local organizations for help if your relationship is unsafe. Gather your trusted friends and family together to serve as a needed support network for you during this hard time. Whatever you do, never underestimate the love you deserve.